"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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