It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize