I want to stick my p in your. b.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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