Im at strip club and am horny
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
