We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
