Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
