I think my fart just growled at me.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
