Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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