I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
