but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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