Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
