Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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