She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
