i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
