somebody snuck up and got me drunk
oh god the rape fog is back!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
