I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
