I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
why is half of my head shaved?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
