Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
