Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Even my vagina gasped.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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