The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
