Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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