what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize