Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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