i jhust puked up my retainher.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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