she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
