i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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