Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
