Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i've created a new STD.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
