I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
