Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
