we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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