It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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