Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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