do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
