Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
