your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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