THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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