Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Randomize
