Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
my poor anus
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
