i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
