Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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