Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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