found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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