But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
