Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
