that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
