she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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