none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize