i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
