Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
