Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
