I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
