i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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