you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
