Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.

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(845): View more from New York

Stop trying to talk to my friends!!

(1-845): View more from New York

then get some ugly ones...

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(908): View more from New Jersey

you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"

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(812): View more from Indiana

after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?

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(705): View more from Ontario

IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!

(1-705): View more from Ontario

Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.

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