Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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