He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize