OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I think I won the penis lottery.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
